Bring on the Holidays

Well, so much for my last post. I had thought Thursday I was going to be able to go the gym, do this long workout, tough out my long day at work. Didn't happen. I was at work for 11 1/2 hours, and by the time I was done, I was completely empty, no energy. I came home, had about 2 glasses of wine and fell asleep on the couch at 9:30 dead to the world.

During the next 6 days it's going to be hard to balance work time versus my time. Yesterday even, I worked only 8 hours, but was running all day and lifted literally tons of product, and had to exert every bit of mental energy I had, and I didn't feel like going to the gym. I felt like watching a movie with some friends, eating some pizza,  having good conversation, and getting a little drunk. I needed a break, and if I don't take those nights to just have fun, this next week is going to drive me nuts.

I have to go to work today for a couple hours, and then am working 40 hours between Sunday-Wednesday. I have to make sure to go to the gym each of those days, if only for a while, because, as much responsibility as I have at work, I've got to make time for myself, I don't want to lose an entire week to work.

I am going to write again later today, about how the day was, and how I am going to make up for not exercising and drinking and eating pizza yesterday. I'm going to push myself as hard as possibly today at the gym, as well as walk the 3.5 miles there and back, that should go a long way to make up for my night last night. Anyway, thanks for reading, and I appreciate all the feedback.

Long Day...

Days like these, are when I know I am committed. During this time of year, my job is a madhouse. Leading up to the Holidays the store is so busy, and preparations have to made for the stampede that is going to descend on us in the next week. I have so much to do, that I don't have time to eat as I would like. No sit down lunch, no properly spaced out snacks, not enough water, just grab as I go. I was all over the place, and just mentally and physically spent at the end of my 10 and 1/2 hour day. It would have been really easy to go home. Or even better, go downtown and have a beer. I was so stressed out and tired, I was even craving a cigarette. But, I just put my head down and walked to the gym.

Once I got there, I didn't have much energy, but I still went for 4.5 miles, and did 30 minutes of circuit training. I was so tired by the end, and to be honest, I can't believe I am still awake. Tomorrow I have to make sure that I take better care of myself. I have found that yogurt, oats and a piece of fruit for breakfast, almond butter and honey on whole wheat bread for a mid-morning snack, and a good lunch with some protein, brown rice, a bunch of veggies, with a snack in late afternoon, gets me ready to have a long sustained workout. I need a long workout tomorrow. I think 6 miles, and an hour of circuit training, with at least 20 minutes of stretching is what my goal is tomorrow.

I am going on vacation in early January, and I have a new crazy ass mission for myself. I think in my 9 days off, I am going to shoot for running 70 miles, riding 100 miles on my bike (or indoors if it's freezing) and 6 sessions of strength training. I am thinking about doing 80 miles running, we'll see how the next 6 weeks of training go. I usually, when I'm on vacation, do a lot of lounging; take it real easy. This time though, I am going to push myself as hard as I can without feeling like I am doing myself any damage. I will have to eat, sleep, stretch, and rest perfectly. I am pretty committed to this, and I am positive I can do it no question.

Trying to get ready for this, is why I have been working out even on days like today when just going home would be perfectly understandable. I am going to be ramping up my training another level, even though next week I am working 6:30am to 7pm or so, M,T,W. I will find a way to get in the gym each day, even for 45 minutes. Thanksgiving, I am bringing my own food, passing on all the goodies, leaving before dessert and going for a 6 mile run. I am looking at all this, and I feel a little crazy, but I am serious about running a marathon, and doing a triathlon. The new gym I recently realized is right near my house, has a pool, and I am going to start my swimming training this Sunday.

This is all pretty exciting, pretty tiring too, but immensely satisfying. I won't lie, I am sore pretty much every day, and people keep asking me to go out and have a drink, hang out, and I am ditching people left and right, and I kind of feel like a dick, but I have to keep focused. Ill feel like I have really accomplished what I want, went I finish the triathlon at the end of next summer.

That's really all for today, I am fading and need to go to bed. Tomorrow I will write, and see if I actually leave work on time and manage my 6 miles and hour of circuit training. Wish me luck, and if anybody wants any help, or needs some motivation, let me know.

Can't sit still

Today was going to be a day where I just did stuff around the house and took it easy. The last two days I've had really intense runs where I was trying for speed. Friday I did 4 miles on a treadmill, (and an hour of strength training), and then yesterday I did 4 miles outside. I was curious what the difference would be, I assumed the treadmill would be faster because you are forced to keep a pace; but I pushed myself just as hard when I ran outside and the times were identical more or less.

As much as I was going to just stay away from exercising today, I love it that I am to the point where I crave it. Today, I was going to do some light housework, watch a movie, play around with finances, simple stuff, but the longer the day goes on I keep thinking I gotta do something. I'm feeling a little froggy.

I think I will make a trip to the gym today, if only for an hour or so. The gym I go to has a few different branches, and I just now realized that there is one pretty much right next to my house that I thought was like 5 miles away. In reality, it's only 1.5 miles away and I had always assumed it was so much further.

Things seem to be working in my favor more and more. I feel like momentum has started to pick up and goods things are just starting to fall into place. They all in one way or another are going to contribute to these goals I have. Work has started to become so much less stressful as of late, which is nice, and I don't feel like I have to be there and or think about it all the time. Christa has gotten a new job which will give her better hours and and will improve her quality of life so much. She has been such a big help, there is no way I could be doing all this without her. Between Christa's life getting easier, my life at work getting easier, and realizing I have a gym so much closer to my house, things are going pretty great right now.

Since things are going so good, sitting around and taking an easy day feels like I'm not taking advantage of the circumstances that are being presented right now. I feel compelled to workout today, like I owe the universe for shifting things into high gear for me. I think I am going to comply now, check out this new gym, and keep earning a little more of that good fortune.

Prepared

Well not much to write for today. I managed to get to the gym, but it kind of helps to bring sneakers with you when you get there. I somehow left them at my house in the morning. Usually I would have still worked out in my work shoes, but I only had my boots. Not too bright. It's ok, I am just going to go tomorrow, which was going to be a rest day.

I did make some progress though. One thing I have been watching out for is snacking at work. It's hard to resist when my job is ordering roasted salted cashews, or peanut butter malt balls, sesame sticks etc. Also, when you are surrounded by free cookies, samosas, pizza, you sometimes just end up eating something before you know it.

 The nature of my job is so chaotic that I often don't have time to eat lunch. Days like that I just grab a cookie to have something to eat as I am passing through our breakroom. Lately though I have been keeping almond butter, whole wheat bread, and honey in my locker, so I can have a healthy snack when I am hungry. I usually eat two oatmeal cookies a couple days a week, and today I decided that if I am going to snack, I am replacing the cookies with raw almonds, and dried unsweetened mango. Much more nutrition in these two, and they give me a lot more energy.

At least I was able to accomplish that switch today, even though I was a dumbass and left my shoes at home. That is how I've learned to look at things. Every day doesn't have to be perfect. Just because I was an idiot about footwear, I still made that intentional decision to not eat junk.  I am going to now have those two things be my fall back, (mango and almonds), along with apples, which I can find for free all day. I am especially going to be careful tomorrow, as we are having people at our house to dinner tomorrow, and I'm going to reserve all extra calories for all the wine I'm going to be drinking.

I'm not going to have too much wine though, as I  have a plan for this weekend. I am going to run 6 miles, outside, and do an hour or so of circuit training on Saturday. I really like pushing myself on Saturday. I don't have anything I really have to do, and I can clear my head and just focus. Sunday is more mellow,  a lot of stretching and some easy cardio; nothing too complicated.

It's getting late and believe it or not I am out of things to say. I wish you luck any of you who are trying to get started or stay started, on whatever workout/healthy eating plan you are trying to do. Thanks for reading. Goodnight.

Moderation

One mistake I have made, and others I have know have made, is that when they workout, they think they have to workout as hard as they possibly can each time they exercise. It's like you think you can get somewhere faster if you just destroy yourself. Like you don't have to put days, months, and years into getting new habits. I watch people at the gym almost falling over on a stair master, clinging on for dear life, and I just want to tell them how destructive they're being. That they can think like a healthy person, and do a moderately intense workout, get all the health benefits and not almost pass out.

 I know that there were times in my life when I was like, "I am going to lose all this weight in three months!". I then start working out like a demon. I workout so hard that I get sick of it and it becomes this tortuous thing. Really though, If you maintain about 65% to 70% of your max heart rate - (220 - age = Max heart rate), you're fine. There are more complicated ways of figuring this out, but if you aren't already working out a lot, you can use this as a good guide. If you're sweating, and huffing a bit when you talk, good things are happening.

My point is, today I got up before 6, and worked a 9 hour day, and didn't have time at work to properly eat before I went to the gym. Instead of going and trying to over work myself, I worked out hard enough to sweat through my shirt, make myself sore tomorrow, but not until I had no energy. Not going full throttle today means I am more likely to go tomorrow. In which case I probably will work myself into the ground, given I've eaten right during the day.

I noticed today how when I worked out with a trainer, I was always pushed to the brink, regardless of the fact that I worked 11 hours, and hadn't eaten since a quick lunch at my desk. On these days, I would feel nauseous, an so dizzy I had to sit down; and not finish my workout. I'm all for pushing yourself as far as possible, but sometimes you only have enough to put moderate effort in, and that's fine.

That being said, I am now going to bed, and tomorrow I am going to contradict all of this and attack the gym like I'm Tallahassee gunning for the world's last twinky.

Encouragement

I have to say thanks to everyone who has posted, read, or told me in person, that they enjoy reading this. It isn't all that easy for me to be doing, since who really wants admit openly that they haven't exercised enough and eat badly/too much? I guess I have always felt like if I talked about how out of shape I was, then it would call attention to it, (as if looking like I swallowed a pygmy wasn't apparent unless I talked about it). Like there was some spell that that kept it hidden from everyone, and if I talked about all it of a sudden the illusion was broken, when really the spell was just in my head. If I didn't talk about it, it wasn't there for me to see.

The second part about this being a bit of a challenge, is that writing, and having other people see it, has always made me a bit uncomfortable. Doing anything creative, and showing it to people has always made me more uncomfortable than anything. I am less uncomfortable naked, than letting anyone read anything I write.

Now that I have those two issues out of the way, I can think a lot clearer about what I have to do. Writing this blog is a great way for me to organize myself, and break what I have done/have to do, into manageable chunks. Today I am going to post what my workouts are as well as what I ate for the day. I thought about not doing this because it occured to me, "who gives a shit what you eat for the day?", then I realized I don't care if it's boring, it's a good way for to me see it laid out next to writing about it. The synthesis of doing and expressing, and seeing those together, has to get a couple of new synapses firing. So in the interest of the mind body connection here is my food intake for the day, and a rough sketch of my workout.

Ball squats, with curl and press: 3 sets of 15 reps using 20lb weights
Seated Calf raises: 3 sets of 15-20 reps using 80lbs (he isn't dropping his heels far enough by the way)
Back ext cybex: 3 sets of 20 using 155lbs
Cybex chest press: 3 sets of 15-20 using 80lbs
Cable upright row: 3 sets of 12 using 50lbs
Dumb bell row: 3 sets of 12-15 using 30lbs
Swiss ball crunches: 3 sets of 30
Cable torso twist: 3 sets of 12 with 50lbs

Sorry if some of these have ads before them; I tried to avoid that as much as possible.

After this is done, it's 5 miles on the treadmill.

Today is a good day to for me to really beat myself up. Since I took yesterday completely off and I feel great. The thing I have been slacking on is stretching. I do stay for about 10 minutes after my workout and stretch, but I don't do enough after I get home, or on my rest days. That being said, I am going to stretch for a bit before I have to catch the bus to get the gym. Let's see how I feel tonight after I get home. I will make sure to write it down, so tune in tonight, at the same bat-time on the same bat-channel (This doesn't really make sense, but I watched some clips of old the old Batman t.v. show today and I couldn't help it).

Day off

Yesterday, I worked a half day, then went to the gym and worked my ass off until my shirt was dripping wet. As an added bonus, not only was it a half day, but I convinced work to hire a new full time person in my department so we all don't have to work like madmen every second of the day, and I also hit the lowest weight I've been at in five years. Not a bad day I have to say. That being said...I'm not do shit today.


I have lived up to this pretty well, I must say. I put a lot of hard work into watching two movies and eating burritos all day. I must admit, I did fail in one regard, I did go outside and shoot baskets for an hour an a half. Even though I failed, I tried to not exert too much energy while playing basketball.

I have learned to listen to what my body is saying and today it said "lounge like it's your job". I know the importance of giving my body a break, and making sure to not over train, and that part of training is knowing when you've earned a day to do as guru says.

A large part of this endeavour is eating properly. Eating the right mix of carbs, proteins and fat, as well as the right amount of calories, is a tricky thing when you are at one time trying to build muscle, do a lot of cardio, and lose weight. It is especially difficult when my food habits are as much the simple man style of eating as you can get. I want to eat the second I'm hungry, I want it to be simple, easily accommodate condiments, and take 5 minutes or less. If it is some sort of protein style savory thing wrapped, or in between, some sort of bread type product, I'm satisfied.

The problem is, this impulse can cost a lot of money, (especially in Burlington with so many delivery options), and is a real easy way to gain a shit load of weight, and swap about half the 60% of humans that is made up of water, and replace it with sodium. I have found a solution though that occasionally allows me to have a day - like today - where I can relapse into the pattern of the "30 Day High Blood Pressure Fatter You Diet!". Since I work at Healthy Living, I have a large array of foods to choose from that are healthy. Like I said before, my preferred food is essentially a burrito, and I have found the perfect ones at work, Red's Turkey Mole. With these, they have great ingredients, they're huge, and they have the right breakdown of protein, fats and carbohydrates that I need. So on a day like today where I wanted to really not think, I can eat these, not spend a ton of money, and not feel bad about it. Which means in the end I can have one day where it feels like I'm not focusing on training/losing weight, but can indulge myself without it being harmful.

I look at today as a well earned day of slack. It was well accomplished, and leaves me rested for tomorrow when I am going to both run for 5 miles and do an hour of strength training. As for the rest of today, Christa and I are going to watch some 30 rock, then I'm going watch some basketball, and go to sleep dreaming of burritos.

work too much...

Today was one of those days when I left work and felt like a Zombie. I had plans to go to the gym and do some weights, do some running, but man, after 10 and a half hours; I was done. Not much else to say, I pretty much have been comatose since I got home, but tomorrow I'm working a half day and kicking my ass at the gym. I did think about going today, even if it was to just stretch and do some light running, but I know I'll go tomorrow; and this weekend.

I have been in an odd headspace since I have decided to pursue all this, and the last few days have been more disjointed than usual. I have felt like Billy Pilgrim, like I'm a bit unstuck in time. What I mean is...it feels like some points in my day, I see a cigarette, and something in me just wants to smoke. I walk past the beer cooler at work and part of me wants to sit around drink all night. I think about these things and feel disconnected from something that was once me at most points in my life, but in this moment, they are the last things I want to do. There is this sense of detachment from what I even identify as myself.People who ran in the winter always used to to draw some derisive comment about how stupid I thought it was. I now admire that kind of commitment, and enjoy it myself. Having these blurry moments is kind of fun, as I feel like I am building a different person.

One thing I need to change more than anything, is that I have always had a problem falling asleep. Insomnia has been a pretty constant part of my life, and right now I'm not helping myself by staring at the bright lights of a computer. Not getting enough sleep I have been used to, and can function at work without a glitch, but it makes such a difference in how I train if I get too little sleep. I'm going to stop staring at this screen now and try to and get some sleep. Until tomorrow...

Beat

I got nothin'. I wasn't going to write anything, 'cause after a long day at work and four miles in the cold, I am spent. A run in the cold wasn't something I was looking forward to tonight, especially after working out yesterday, and running 3 miles, I was tired, and wanted to zone out, watch a Basketball game and empty my head. It didn't help that Christa made this amazing stew that once I ate it, I didn't want to do anything but sit back and think about how fucking good it was as it hung out in my stomach. But...I knew I had to go, full belly, headache and all. I admit I feel good aside for feeling a little stiff; but I'm still pretty dead. Flopped down watching basketball not moving for as long as possible probably falling asleep on the couch waking up at 2 am groggy as hell, dead. It was worth it though, as much I am bitching about it. It wouldn't be very readable, if I was like "Great run, off to bed". Pretty boring.

I think I was fine with going tonight because I had music. Having music lately has been a pain in the ass though. Christa and I each have an ipod, and they both don't work right. We have 3 sets of headphones, 2 don't work and actually I think we threw them out. Then we have a nice pair, that I lost in the house somewhere. All of this has pissed me off because I run so much better with music playing in my ears. I've got to have a rhythm; it helps push me. If I got something to run to, like Kid Cudi, Tool, or Blackalicious, I am set and can run for miles no matter how I feel. Tonight it was actually Immortal Technique, and I can through walls listening to that guy.

Anyway, I'm going to stop before I just keep rambling. Got to make myself go to sleep, I've got to lift weights and serve some time on the elliptical tomorrow. I have to be careful though. I noticed yesterday that I was setting the reps to high for my weights so that by my last set (I do three sets of between 12-and 20 reps of a given weight), my arms or legs were completely spent and I wasn't able to finish. I've got to pull it back a bit, and not try to out do myself right off the bat. Thanks for reading, and let's hope Shumlin pulls this off.